Parcheesi 40K: Khorne vs. Ultramarines

My husband and I like to play Parcheesi off and on as a quick, low commitment way to get a little gaming in when the mood strikes us. It often works out for some reason that my dice tend to fall so I have late game zergs where I roll a lot of doubles and hence get to cover a lot of ground quickly with my pawns. I often play the green pieces and when this strangely ubiquitous phenomenon begins I have taken to “Declaring the Waaagh!”*

This gave me a spur of the moment idea: why not use our long-neglected Warhammer 40K pieces to play Parcheesi?**

I decided upon a tetrad of bloodletters, including one with a horn and of course their Banner of Hate probably constructed from the flayed skins of their victims. My husband used four of his Ultramarines he painted some years ago. The fact he had a missile launcher made me a little nervous but at least it wasn’t a flamer or that scary Assault on Black Reach captain!

The Ultramarines took an early game lead by getting two marines into the home square as you can see below.*** However, the forces of Khorne had some rather Tzeentch-like tricks up their sleeves where they posted themselves on the blue safety squares in an attempt to take the skull of the unfortunate banner sergeant.****

The Ultramarine banner sergeant turned out to be tricky as space marines in general that chapter in particular are known for. Thanks to some well executed maneuvers and dice tricks he was able to avoid my blue square snares and post himself with his colleague in a protective blockade. Unfortunately for the bad guys, my tricky Tzeentchian-Khornate bloodletters had a very strong position with a blue square blockade of their own with one of their fellows (top left corner) waiting to pounce.*****

I’m sad to report that despite everything, my daemonic blockading plans fell flat and both marines were able to escape past my red home row unmolested. (Note the position of both marines in the picture below relative to the picture above.) My daemons have to move up into the home row toward the home square so anything past that is safe territory for the Imperium.

It is a tight game. Two marines are already in the home square but the balance of my forces are a bit closer to home. Still, I’d say at this point it is a small advantage to my husband’s squad.

In the end I had my usual late game zerg but then so did the Ultramarines. Happily, the Khornate good guys won but it was a close thing: the last marine was in his home row only two squares from victory. So the game was almost as near a thing to a draw as you can get in Parcheesi.

The marines failed to close the warp portal before a massive incursion of Khorne goodness vomits into real space. The imperial fall back plan of Exterminatus fails when their bombs are possessed by daemons. Their primitive machine spirits become existentially enraged so the bombs immediately launch themselves toward the nearest highly populated worlds. Perhaps in a future game of Parcheesi 40K we’ll see if the space marine fleet can catch both the daemons and their own rogue bombs in time!


* I wish I could claim credit for thinking this up but it was my husband who first mentioned it, harkening back to our old 5th edition 40K games of marines versus space orks that always seemed to end somehow in my guys moving absurdly quickly all at once, overrunning his forces in a painful but mercifully short episode of buckets of dice being rolled and sanguine massacre. Actually it didn’t happen all the time: I think my husband forgets all of the times where his guys shot half my army off the table by turn two but hey I’m probably biased.

** The older 25mm bases worked well for doing this. I don’t think the newer 32mm bases would have done the trick because they are too big for the squares.

*** Sweet, sweet victory is achieved by getting all four of your pieces into the home square before your opponent does. Given the You Go/I Go nature of the game, a tie is not possible though I do remember a game I played as a child where my opponent got mad and flipped the board and tried to declare it a draw. She wasn’t the nicest of losers and sometimes used the same pernicious tactic in Candyland.

**** The blue squares are “safety zones” where pieces are safe from capture by the enemy. On the white squares, you may capture an enemy piece by rolling a number that allows you to end your move on the opponent’s square, sending him back to his home circle. Skulls for the Parcheesi Throne!

***** A blockade is formed by having two of your own pieces on a square. Neither your own nor the enemy’s pawns can move through a blockade. A blue square blockade is stronger still, because when you move a piece, breaking the blockade, your other piece is not vulnerable to attack. It is a common tactic to try and capture an opponent’s pawn by denying it the ability to move by means of a blockade, and use another piece behind to threaten a capture.

An Occurrence at Tau Zeta Mythic

Santa Cruz Sector: Mythic Games, November 17, 2017

We played the domination variant of Only War, where each side received victory points from turn to turn for controlling objectives. The Tau consisted of a single 41 power point patrol detachment, which faced a 40 point Tyranid battalion.

“Several years after Jormungandr’s apparent defeat, reports begin to drift in … telling of Tyranids bursting forth from the earth, overrunning defences and killing at will.”

Codex Tyranids

The eerie quiet of an apparently abandoned Tau moon base.

Outgoing transmissions cease from a research base (and listening outpost) on the edge of Tau/Imperial space.  Oddly garbled reports from supply vessels inbound to the Zeta system only obfuscate the situation.  An small, highly elite reconnaissance team is dispatched from the nearest Tau military base.

Breacher squad defends a transport.

Our investigating soldiers find the base completely abandoned with no signs of a struggle.  After combing through much of the complex, they come upon a wild-eyed scientist cowering behind a wall of boxes in a supply closet.  Her confused tale is one of their equipment detecting mysterious tremors beneath the base; gradual disappearances, hideous scuttling noises, and glimpses of lurkers in the darkness.

The commander decides to gather what data and salient equipment they can, return to base, and let the earth caste people figure it all out.

That’s when three kinds of hell breaks loose with enormous, four-armed monstrosities erupting from multifarious hiding places and leaping to the attack.  Their coordination and tactics bespoke not simple beasts but instead a sinister intelligence….

The mystery of all those tremors solved!

The recon team beats a hasty retreat with the earth caste civilian (as represented in-game by an ethereal) and what precious data they can recover in tow.  Despite a growing tide of clawed horrors erupting from every building, tunneling up out of the earth … seemingly everywhere at once, the heroic sacrifice of more than one pathfinder squad as well as the intervention of their heavier crisis elements allow the Tau to board the last available lander.

The lander blasts off into space with hormagaunts and termagaunts hanging all over the hull, trying to chew their way through hatches and view ports.  More of the creatures die horribly as they attempt to clog the ship’s flaring exhaust nozzles with their burning bodies.

From space, Tau Zeta Mythic appears as a hideous ball of worms — writhing, consuming everything, even each other in their feeding frenzy.    The Tau commander hoped the information he bore would count in the balance for more than the loss of the moon. Though there were many questions yet to answer, one thing was obvious:  this was nothing to do with the humans.

Ancynt Battles: Orks vs. CSM’s

Alameda Sector, Fremont System: August 2013

This is an old battle report I had misplaced, when the website I originally posted it on lost a bunch of data.  I duly forgot about the report, but ran across it recently so I thought I would give it a new home here, even though I’ve gotten away from posting long-winded battle reports.  Anyway, reporting on a four year old game seems apt somehow, given the state of archives in the 41st Millennium.

We played 6th edition, which was current at the time.  One thousand points of Orks versus Nurgle Chaos Space Marines.  The mission was the Eternal War mission Big Guns Never Tire with Vanguard Strike deployment.

My forces were led by Warboss Hungry and his band of cybork nobz in a battlewagon.  They were backed up by two squads of boyz in trukks, a handful of gretchin, and a dakkajet.

The opposition was led by the self-style Sluglord Scabidemius with the mighty Typhus as his trusty lieutenant.  The rank and file were two squads of plague marines, though they could apparently only scrape up a single rhino between them, a bunch of zombie cultists, and three obliterators.

Orks versus Nurgle Marines Board Set Up August 2013

The early going with space marines coming onto the scene.

TURN ONE: Hungry’s plan was to run his battlewagon up the middle while sweeping both trukks on the left flank to obliterate the obliterators. They were scoring in this scenario, as well as being a prime target, and camped on a back objective, obviously poised to deliver turn after turn of heavy long range fire.

First order of business was snake eyes on the dangerous terrain test for the shoota boyz trukk. (I had reinforced rams on all my vehicles allowing re-rolls.) So the trukk moved maybe 6″ and threw an axle trying to motor through a crater. Not a good start for the master plan but nevermind. The choppa boyz’ trukk was more durable and roared up within striking distance of the marines’ sole heavy support.

The battlewagon skirted the edge of the forest at cruising speed. The driver then pivoted with the idea of presenting the vehicle’s heavy front armor to the enemy. This brought the back end of the half track into the forest. No problem. Another dangerous terrain test and another set of snakes eyes. Two ork vehicles immobilized before the marines had fired a shot.  Nice!

The obliterators fired their mutated lascannons at the battlewagon to no effect.  Plague marines led by Typhus legged it toward the ruin containing objective B, while the other squad, in their rhino, headed north of the ruin apparently toward objective C. Zombies staggered up the middle toward the now stricken battlewagon.

obliterators versus choppa boyz August 2013

Nurgle Obliterators versus Ork Boyz

TURN TWO: Gretchin reinforcements skulked in from the south-east. Their plan was to avoid fighting, use the ruin with the nearby immobilized trukk for cover and make a mad dash for objective D if needed. Otherwise they would hunker down and hope they didn’t draw unwanted any attention.

Hungry’s last working trukk careened over several boulders and knocked over a tree, while choppa boyz piled out dodging lascannon overwatch fire, each other.  They mostly succeeded in not getting run over by their own slightly insane (by ork standards) driver. Luck was with them and all 12 got stuck in. The marines won the first round taking out several boyz though the klaw-armed nob did get a piece of one marine. Being nurgle obliterators they were of course dead tough.

The shoota boyz piled out of their immobilized trukk. The nob sergeant led his troops in and near the south-east ruin. His idea was to support the choppa boyz if necessary or take objectives later in the battle. Hungry and his nobz stayed put in their wagon, which bounced a kannon shell off the side of the plague rhino.

Typhus and his marines lumbered up middle of the battlefield. It appeared their plan was to use zombies as a screen and take out the battlewagon. The plague marines got close enough to discover that objective B was a skyfire nexus. Uh oh.

Meanwhile the chaos rhino hooked to the south and drove up right next to objective C. The obliterators won the fight for objective A again, reducing ork numbers just below fearless at the cost of losing one of their trio to a well-timed axe between the eyes.

Plague marines take objective August 2013

Plague Marines secure an objective.

TURN THREE: Hungry called in air support in the form of an up-gunned MIG-15. The plane came in low out of the twin suns and in a hail of lead murdered several of Typhus’ plague marines. The marines responded with accurate bolter and meltagun fire, courtesy of the skyfire nexus. The ork pilot jinked away from a melta shot that would have ended any hope of making ace.

Hungry radioed an order to his shoota boyz. The shoota sergeant barked a command and his boyz hustled through the ruin toward objective D. The plan was now to hold this objective and skirmish with the marines holding objective C. If necessary, the orks would advance and try to contest C with the gretchin coming out of their defensive positions to secure D.

The nobz decided the zombies were close enough now so they jumped out of their half track and charged with a Waaagh! (Declared that earlier to get the eighteen shots for the MIG-15.) They ended up massacring 12 or 14 of the zombies with barely a scratch in return. Ouch. Naturally Hungry opted to let his painboy take on the zombie champion while he “kept an eye on the bigger picture.”

Meanwhile it was a tie back at the hand-to-hand (or choppa to horribly mutating power fist) fighting between the orks and obliterators.

Toward end of game orks versus nurgle marines August 2013

Every vehicle in the battle was immobilized by treacherous terrain!

TURN FOUR: The ork pilot pitched his MIG sideways, dipping a wing low to the ground in an effort to decapitate the meltagun-wielding plague marine, not to mention navigate between two ruins without losing too many vital bits of his airplane. Once through, he hit the afterburner, rocketed between the two ruins and bugged out. He’d had enough of skyfire nexuses and meltaguns for one day. The nobz finished off the few remaining zombies and moved toward Typhus and the remnants of his squad. It isn’t every day one gets First Blood killing for 21 zombies in close combat!

The choppa boy nob finally managed to wade his way to the front and “showed dem how itz be dun” and finished off the obliterators. A bit of luck in winning that fight. The boyz consolidated around their trukk.

Typhus cast weapon virus on the nobz, which made all of their weapons have the “get’s hot” rule. The squad then moved up and charged. Despite going through difficult terrain and losing their front marine to an overwatch combi-skorcha (talk about get’s hot!) the marine charge was successful.

Hungry answered the inevitable challenge from Typhus by bodily picking up his hapless painboy and hurling him at the hulking terminator, who duly crushed the painboy as one would a gnat. The marines won the combat but not by much. The chaos gods decided to give mighty Typhus a boon such that all of his attacks were now poisoned. Wait, what?!

Marines on objective C continued to skirmish with the shoota orks. Their rhino moved forward in an effort to shield the squad from battlewagon kannon fire and to take bolter shots against the immobilized wagon’s rear armor. Naturally the rhino lost its drive axle trying to move into the forest and was immobilized.  They bailed out of their rhino in practiced advance and assault pattern, Vomitus, taking objective C. One astartes dropped to a knee, took aim and put a bolter round right between the eyes of the lead ork on objective D.  Good shooting, soldier!

Hungry versus the nobz

Warboss Hungry heads for the hills!

TURN FIVE: Choppa boyz danced around objective D, then went about the serious business of decorating their trukk with obliterator body parts. Ignoring all of this, the driver spun his trukk around in place so his gunner could shoot at Typhus. What with the boyz jumping up and down on top of the trukk and rocking it side to side, not to mention the trukk being about five feet up a sentient, chaos-warped tree, instead of doing a 180 in place it did a 90, right over onto its side. Yep, I rolled snake eyes for the dangerous terrain test for the third time in the game!

Gretchin low crawled, with some prompting from a hungry squighound, through holes in the ruin toward objective D, just in case the skirmishing went badly for their larger cousins.

Back to the main event at the center of the battle. With nowhere to run Typhus challenged the warboss once again. This time Hungry ordered his nobz into a phalanx-like formation and stood at the rear ready to power klaw anyone who ran or brought up how challenges worked. One nob was brave (or desperate) enough to cite something on page 64 about Hungry “not getting to use his leadership” and got his head scissored off for his trouble.

Typhus, with nothing to slow him down killed four nobs with his scythe o’ diseased doom. The nobz finally had enough and ran in all directions, figuring Hungry couldn’t have off all their heads while dodging the clumsy but jovially insane nurgle terminator lord. One nob did put the final plague marine escort out of his misery as a sort of courtesy before running for it though.

Nurgle image 125 wide

There the battle ended with Hungry having executed his overall strategic plan, despite malfunctioning vehicles and running screaming into the sunset followed by a tireless yet irate Typhus who was heard to scream, “Where are you going you stupid ork? All I want to do is kill you a little!”

Naturally Hungry had the sole remaining nob murdered after the battle for reasons too obvious to go into here.  Disappointed space marines accounted for the rest.

Orks: Two Objectives + Linebreaker + First Blood + HS Kill = 9
CSM: One Objective + Linebreaker + Warlord (was running at the end of game) = 5
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Daemonkin vs. IG, Dark Angels & Officio Assassinorum (2000 points)

Santa Cruz Sector, Mythic Games: March 31, 2017

Frantic reports of daemonic incursions emanate from the agricultural hinterlands of the ninth planet in the Ben Lomond system.  Elements of the Dark Angels space marine chapter investigate and find several warp rifts to Khorne apparently opened by means of the ritualistic sacrifice of entire villages.  There is nothing left when they arrive but death, red mist, blood and horror.  Astra Militarum forces, garrisoning the planet, are air lifted to support the quickly beleaguered marines.  This is one of many desperate actions.

IG and friends vs Daemonkin March 31 2017 board

Imperial armored forces cautiously take up positions surrounding the warp rift.

Captain L. Danielus  and I played the Warp Rift scenario.  This time we used the Superior Reconnaissance special rule.  As things turned out, we both agreed this balanced the scenario nicely for a shooting versus assault army and made for an enjoyable game.

The Khornate forces were a Slaughter Cult formation within a Bloodhost Detachment.  In addition to my usual host of uglies, there was quite a lot of small arms potential this time with three squads of extremely angry daemonkin space marines (not Angry Marines though).  The backbone of the imperial forces was mechanized Guard veterans, assisted by nicely painted Dark Angels tactical marines and terminators led by a chaplain.  An eversor assassin rounded out the loyalist forces.  Our good captain as usual led a Combined Arms Detachment into the fray.

IG and friends vs Daemonkin March 31 2017 warp rift

It isn’t too active now, but soon deamons will come screaming from the living stone!

The early stages of the fight didn’t look too promising for the Imperium.  A squad of possessed space marines clamored out of their rhino and up three floors inside a ruin where a Dark Angels devastator squad had taken up excellent firing positions.  Say what you want about possessed, but they are as agile as spider monkeys!  Predictably, after a sharp, gruesome fight, the possessed were in possession of the ruin and the devastators were but a gruesome memory.

Also, a mob of bloodletters erupted out the rift and made straight for Captain Danielus’ massed line of chimerae.  Despite focusing almost all of their considerable firepower on that single group, apparently the daemons were strong with the might of Khorne, for when the red mist settled the remaining daemons, reduced in number but still hissing and howling scuttled onward with their black swords held high.

IG and friends vs Daemonkin March 31 2017 devastatorsjpg

Dark Angel devastators take aim.

Still, the company commander and his men never give up, and of course Dark Angels know no fear (or if they do they are pretty good at hiding it, at least in front of a chaplain), so they stood fast, determined to close the rift or at least sell their lives as dearly as possible.  Not that they would appreciate the sentiment, but they earned a grim salute from your Sanguine Narrator.  Blessings to the Strong!

Only through heroic sacrifice and much blood spilled, mostly on the imperial side, were the loyalist forces able to hold the field.  Their grip was tenacious but weakening by the second.  As the rift energies peaked, shining like a coruscating red giant, disaster was at hand.  A towering bloodthirster strode out of the midst roaring with laughter.  He was unpainted but mighty nonetheless.

The few remaining veteran guardsmen were in no position to help.  They had their hands full with a particularly frisky chaos spawn.  It seemed to have become stimulated while in proximity to one of the glistening stone menhir, which needed to be seized if the gate was to be closed.

IG and friends vs Deamonkin March 31 2017 Deathwing Terminators

Death Wing terminators teleport in to challenge the deamonkin terminators.

Everything pointed to a complete victory for the daemonkin.  In the end the mighty daemon prince stood alone controlling one objective.  He was busy cavorting over a grease spot that used to be an eversor assassin.  A vendetta gunship interrupted its dogfight with a heldrake and hovered over another objective.  To pick what what survivors they could, perhaps?

The plucky guardsmen almost broke against the chaos spawn, as it ate several more of their number.  The tentacled monstrosity seemed impervious to chainsword, krak missile, and that king of weapons, the lasgun.  Fortunately the spawn was so busy vibrating it didn’t notice a single guardsmen, who wasn’t taking part in the fight.  He placed his hands on the menhir and mumble an incantation.  The soldier exploded in a bloody mess but the red mist around the stone abruptly vanished.

Finally, the Dark Angel chaplain and his men advanced toward their objecrtive in the face of harrowing Daemonkin marine bolter fire.  Despite being almost under the bloodthirster’s gray hooves, the giant paid no heed to the angels in his exultation.

IG and friends vs Daemonkin March 31 2017 chaplain and tactical marines

Waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

“For the Emperor and Mankind!” the chaplain screamed as he slammed his crozius arcanum against the stone objective.  It exploded like a malevolent volcano.  Marines were thrown back in all directions.  The chaplain and a couple of men came to a few moments later.  The rift and all trace of the daemonkin were gone.

So it was a 3-1 win for the Imperium.  The warp rift was closed and a great swath of civilization saved.  Huzzah for the loyalist’s Objective Secured!  Without that special rule the game would have ended in an unsatisfying 1-1 tie.

The Blood God was pleased because, as I told (in an appropriately mock serious tone) one skeptical onlooker who innocently wandered over between rounds of Magic, “Khorne cares not from whence the blood flows, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!”

Yul Brynner King and I

Let Hate and a halfway decent set of abs be our armor!

Still, the architect of this appalling heresy remains unaccounted for.  Who knows where he will strike next?

IG bullet point graphic

Mystery of the Mega Mek Armor: 1 of 4

Santa Cruz Sector, Mythic Games: February 17, 2017

We played a 1500 point Orks versus Orks game where as it turned out my opponent’s warlord was the mega-warboss-with-the-lucky-stikk or MWLS for short.  We both ran a single Combined Arms Detachment.  My opponent convinced me to also include a Painmob formation since I had included the models for it.  Rather sporting, I must say.

The mission was Maelstrom War: Deadlock, which is the one where each player gets less cards with each passing turn.

What started out as a seemingly typical ork brawl between elements of Waaagh: Hungry and Waaagh: Derrius ended in something far different as we’ll see.

Orks vs. Orks Feb 17 2017 Board

Early stages from the fight.  I like how the white lines neatly mark our deployment zones.

My forces got out to an early lead, taking key positions in an effort to break the tactical stalemate.  The other (bad) Orks countered by blunting a slow motion Charge of the Light Walkers up the center.  Still, Waaagh: Hungry built up a big lead that was going to be hard to beat, especially given the nature of our mission where each side relied on dwindling supplies.

My nobz attacked on the left flank and were stopped by an impossibly strong, giant ork in a strangely cobbled together suit of heavy mek armor.  He pretty much was able to take on all eleven nobz by himself and easily win.  What few survivors there were left had no choice but to run for it or die uselessly.  Our left flank crumbled.

Fortunately, crack Hungarian artillery kept our positions from being completely overrun.  Mortars pounded infantry bunched up in the aftermath of close assaults, while supremely heroic goblin kannoneers punished cautious meganobz, all the while dueling Derrius’s keen-eyed flashgitz.

Still, the situation was fast deteriorating and becoming desperate.

Orks vs. Orks Feb 17 2017 Sneaky Git and the Red Git

One sneaky git tries to ambush another.

With the enemy warboss rampaging toward our lines, someone had to do something.  No one was exactly volunteering to confront this seemingly invincible titan, so Lieutenant Scarbag Flashboy, the last survivor of his squad as usual, knew he had to act.

The situation was all confusion, smoke and screams.  Flashboy knew the most important thing at the moment was information.  He shrugged off his crippled rokkit pack and concentrated on remotely piloting a drone carrier ahead into the fiery chaos.  It was rigged with a camera and piled high with explosives.

Orks vs. Orks Feb 17 2017 Cautious Meganobz

Cautious meganobz pick their way forward.  A feller could get hurt out there!

Flashboy was astounded by what he saw in his video screen from the drone’s vantage point.  The enemy warboss’s suit was obviously a cobbled together abomination of corrupted Tau technical genius and evil mek madness!

Pistons shrieked with each of the mega armored boss’s steps.  Shoota fire pattered against his armor like light hail.  Even direct artillery hits ricochetted harmlessly, though this did put paid to more than a few of his boyz, much to the behemoth’s amusement.  Even energy weapons fire was absorbed by a sparking electric field.  This only seemed to make him stronger.

Orks vs. Orks Feb 17 2017 Killa Kanz Stall

Flashgitz turn the center of the battlefield into a walker scrapyard.

The lieutenant tapped a few keys with a shaking head, sending a video capture to higher headquarters.  He’d done has much as he could for now.  It was time to look to his own precious lilly green hide.

To Flashboy’s horror he saw the warboss point a snapping power klaw at him.  Zog!  He had thought himself well concealed.  His drone was still on the move, though it was taking sporadic hits from cowering shoota boyz, as well as being rocked by friendly mortar fire coming from who knew where.  It’s left tread was damaged and looked in danger of coming apart at any moment.

He punched the drone’s Self Destruct on Impact button and sent it trundling directly at the warboss’s back.  It was a sort of slow motion race as the damaged probe struggled to catch up with its ungainly target.

Flashboy rolled out from the shell crater and hustled behind a friendly battlewagon-turned-pillbox, which had lost its front axle.  Its crew opened up on the advancing warboss.  Their chattering machine guns made a lot of noise but had little other effect.

Orks vs. Orks Feb 17 2017 Lobbas in Ruins

Mortars taking the measure of distant infantry.

There was a massive explosion.  The boss had torn the battlewagon in half with his dizzying collection of power weapons, and some sort of short ranged plasma cutter array.  Predatory growls boomed from his vox caster.  Flashboy was thrown clear.  Dazed, he crawled under some of the burning wreckage.  Ammunition from the destroyed APC cooked off in the heat and flames.  Everything was obscured by thick smoke.  His titan opponent was surrounded by the gleaming nimbus of his force field.  Without this protection nothing could stand in the midst of this atomic wreckage and live.

The boss’s laughter stopped.  There was an explosion, even larger than the first, and screams.  Scarbag Flashboy had no idea what happened or how he later found himself in a ship’s medical bay, agreeing to give a painboy most of his teef to sew his legs and part of his left arm back on.  A young tau nurse shook her head and silently busied herself with the needless task of sterilizing a hacksaw.

Perhaps the drone had done its job after all?

Of the enemy warboss and his strange battle suit there was no sign.  Other than the lieutenant’s video capture, of course.  One thing was for sure, he knew that Warboss Hungry, as a close ally of the Greater Good and honorary Shas’O, would not stop until he solved the mystery of the mega mek armor.

Orks vs. Orks Feb 17 2017 Warboss and Boyz

Mega Mek Warboss and boyz surge over a hedgerow.  Note Flashboy’s drone scout.

So the MWLS gave me an idea.  Why not take advantage of him unexpectedly turning up into a sort of four game narrative campaign of sorts instead of just a one shot deal?  I’ll put the campaign up in a future post and link it is this one, which will be the first game of the series.

It was a good fight and a close one.  A battle that definitely highlights the maxim of never giving up.  Especially with the Maelstrom missions.  Although my opponent rolled double 1’s with his lucky stikk and killed off his own warboss inches from my deployment zone, which was unquestionably the high point of our game,  he did manage to squeak out a 13-12 victory point win despite my achieving the all important First Blood in addition to the aforementioned seemingly insurmountable early  battle lead!

Still, thanks to the indomitable senior lieutenant, higher command is in possession of some very interesting intelligence.  One wonders what the Earth Caste will have to say about all of this?  As Warboss Hungry likes to say, “Wot’s all dis den?”

ork bullet point graphic

Scarbag’s Saga: Curse of the Red Git!

Santa Cruz Sector, December 2016.

Senior Lieutenant Scarbag Flashboy was given the mission of helping by dropping his stormboyz into the front lines and attacking heavy support targets of opportunity in one of the many battles in the Santa Cruz Sector against the Imperium.  In the target rich environment of a general Imperial Guard advance, the target in question turned out to be a manticore.

Everything went according to plan.  Their air assault went perfectly.  Actually it was 11 inches off target and another half inch would have dropped the entire squad into no man’s land, but it all worked out so that is what counts.

red20baron20defkopta_zps3mg83uxi

Death and rude gestures from above courtesy of the semi-mysterious Red Git!

The manticore blissfully continued to fire its gigantic storm eagle missiles at distant ork units as the stormboyz prepared for their attack.  Bundles of grenades were checked, rokkit packs dialed to full throttle red line, and Scarboy himself produced a steel bar to jam into the tank’s track.

A few guardmen ran in their general direction but they were apparently retreating from general ork mayhem and soon disappeared in the fire and smoke.

Suddenly a deffkopta roared overhead in a red streak, spewing oil, gears, and stikbombs in its wake.  The ground vibrated under the stormboyz’ feet.  As they stood watching aghast, their now useless weapons falling from their hands, the deffkopta pilot corkscrewed a pair of rokkits into the missile tank.  The remaining two storm eagles detonated in a hellish fireball.  All that was left of the manticore was a burning crater.

Naturally Lieutenant Scarboy found himself stand alone, dumbfounded and patting out flames on his uniform, with all of his boyz laying dead around him.  Those who hadn’t been vaporized of course.

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The distinct red deffkopta flew back and hovered over Scarboy.  It was shedding even more parts than before after being damaged in the explosion. Clearly the only thing keeping the increasingly grotesque machine in the air was the pilot’s invincible belief in his own airmanship.

‘You! Ya you, da stoopid grot dat be on fire. Zog off an’ die, mate, cause I’m da bestestz an’ I’m da fastestz too!  ‘Cause I’m da Red Git!’ the pilot screamed.

‘Wot?’ The stormboy looked up.

The pilot replied with a rude gesture and tossed a ticking melta bomb at Scarbag’s feet.  He zoomed off cackling into the sunset.

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‘We need ta talk,’ the drone said.

Lieutenant Flashboy became introspective as the ebb of battle drifted away from him.  He woke up when the melta bomb laying in a nearby puddle of mud and fuel misfired with a depressing fizzle rather than the usual white hot boom of coruscating light.  The ork sighed and kicked some muck onto his now smoldering boots.

A universal drone trundled up to him on squeaking treads.  Waaagh! Hungry has always made good use of the ubiquitous drones as ammo carriers, mobile bombs, soldiers (remote-controlled or sporting a primitive AI), and especially for recon.

A tinny voice come from a crackling speaker on top of the drone.  “My name iz Big Mek Fixxit an’ we need ta talk if yer lookin’ fer revenge.”

‘Revenge?’ Flashboy asked.  The drone had his full attention.

Imperial Guard vs. Orks (1500 Points)

Santa Cruz Sector, December 14, 2016.

So I played my first game of 40K recently at Mythic Games in after taking well over a year off.  It was Guard versus Orks. Eternal War Scenario: Big Guns Never Tire.  Some pictures from our game:

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Manticores deliver an interesting and indisputable form of Detante.

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Boyz piling out of their wrecked trukk: a pretty common sight for these guys.

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Outflanking mechanized infantry on the attack.

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Tearing the turrets off of APC’s and throwing them with lethal effect at the disembarking infantry.

“Break Their Will” Scenario

Aerial view of trench bombardment.

I first saw this scenario at Mythic Games in Santa Cruz, California.  It was their 40K “Scenario of the Week” at the time.  I liked it because while fairly simple, it promoted a style of play that was a little different than the classic Eternal War or Maelstrom missions.

Set up is as per a standard game of 40K.  There are no secondary objectives, nor are any objective markers placed on the board. Night Fighting wasn’t listed either, though I suppose if both sides agreed you could include that rule. The game ends as per the normal rules.

Players achieve victory points by meeting the following conditions:

  • One victory point for each enemy unit reduced to half strength or below.
  • Two victory points for each enemy independent character killed.
  • One victory point for each challenge won.
  • One victory point for each of your units over half strength in the enemy deployment zone at the end of the game.

Our “Break Their Will” Battles

Khorne Daemonkin, Orks, and Necrons vs. Orks (1000 points, August 2015).  A hard fought battle on both sides with many failed charges by the orks on both sides with the end game turning into a bit of a swirling battle of annihilation in the center of the board.  The mixed forces won a solid but by no means overwhelming victory.

  Ultramarines vs. Space Wolves (1250 points, Spring 2015).  A tough “war game” battle between two chapters honing their tactics.  The Space Wolves were aggressive, especially their chaplain, but what these men of the Fang had going for them in ferocity they lacked in experience.  The war games were close but in the end the Ultramarines, led by a highly experienced Captain Reuben, taught the new comers some valuable lessons they won’t forget when they battle the enemies of Mankind.

Orks vs. Orks: Archeotech Hunt

Ethereal Mark and I decided to play the Archeotech Hunt Scenario with 1000 point ork lists.  The idea was that two big meks belonging to the same Waaagh! heard about an area rich in exotic technology ripe for the plucking.  So both meks gathered together their henchmen and snuck off … only to find their hated rival staring across at them!

We implemented a number of rules specifically for this game:

  • The warlord must be a big mek.
  • A warboss cannot be fielded by either army.
  • Big Meks and meks have the Objective Secured rule themselves, but they do not confer OS onto other members of their unit.

The boyz clash early in the fighting.

Early Game: Ethereal (or Big Mek, rather) Mark’s tankbustas sped their trukk into a ruin and blazed away at my battlewagon and deff dread.  He also began tightening a circle around my army with large numbers of boyz to my left and skorcha buggies backed up by a squadron of deffkoptas to my right.

My plan was to counter attack with the force field-protected battlewagon full of boyz supported by my walker, cut down his bold encirclement, barrage his large troop concentrations with my heavy mortars and carry off all the archeotech, then lord it over all of the other big meks … especially my rival with his fancy, yellow mega armor!  Unfortunately things didn’t turn out quite that way.

Mark’s tankbusta trukk barely weathered the fire from my battle wagon and other assets.  This allowed him to go on the attack and assault my wagon, blowing it up.  I had a bit of luck in that only a couple of the 20 choppa boyz were killed. The tank killer orks were not done yet and managed to immobilize my walker and then rushed in to finish it off, only to fall victim to its huge, snapping claws.  Still, they did finish off the dread but were now a spent force.  They had done very well all things considered!

Mark’s tankbustas had seized the initiative, throwing my forces on the defensive from which they never truly recovered despite some last ditch attempts at heroics.

Mid Game: Despite the efforts of my mortar goblins Mark’s circle was tightening.  My single deep striking deff kopta and small squad of jump orks did manage to rocket into a good position behind his forces.  As Mark later pointed out, this caused a delay while he secured the objectives in his rear area, thus slowing down the encirclement of my forces, which allowed my big mek to lead a brave counter-attack!

A meganob, looking victorious in yellow.

End Game: My warlord, seeing that all was nearly lost and that the bravest greenskins in his miserable warband were a bunch of goblins, decided to force the issue.  Leading a still large force of shoota and choppa boyz, they climbed over the smoking wrecks of enemy skorcha buggies and picked through ruins toward Mark’s advancing big mek with his boyz.  Mark’s big mek oozed confidence and was resplendent in yellow mega armor.

My leader tuned his force field to Waaagh!, raised his lucky red wrench on high, and called for the charge.  Although my boyz did inflict decent casualties among the enemy orcs with their dakka, the ruins and distance were too much and the charge failed.  The Mega Mek’s forces held despite losses and advanced into the ruins firing their weapons and building up for a counter-attack.

My brave mek made a sudden decision.  Despite still having a goodly number of willing fighters around him not to mention a enraged nob with a power klaw, he suddenly threw the whole thing up and ran from the battlefield before either group could get stuck in.

That pretty much put paid to the battle with Mark’s mega mek firmly in charge of the archeotech site and his rivals either dead or fleeing.  He won a resounding victory!  My cowardly big mek was never seen again.  Rumor has it that the aforementioned nob krumped him later or possibly my ork engineer hightailed it to parts unknown.

Happier Days, Circa 2013: Deploying into Anti-Air Formation

As a bit of a post script, the heroes of my army, the plucky artillery goblins, spiked their guns and hopped down escape tunnels that they learned how to construct from the artillery mice.  Better to live to fight another day rather than end up some nob’s lunch!

Steel Legion & Officio Assassinorum vs. Orks

The orks have seen a lot of battles versus the Imperial Guard, especially lately, though this is the first time we’ve lined up against this particular officer.  We played 1500 points and decided upon the “Big Guns Never Tire” scenario from the Eternal War series.  The goal here was to hold objectives at the end of the game and destroy your opponent’s heavy support units while preserving your own.

He had two battle tanks as his heavy support.  Other vehicles included four or five chimera and a valkyrie gunship with embarked storm troopers.  His troops were all (or at least mostly) veterans with those scary-looking german helmets and gas masks.  (We imagined that our battle was a small part of what happened during the Third War for Armageddon.  Perhaps the vindicare assassin was dispatched to kill Ghazghkull Thraka, who apparently was elsewhere.) The orks opted for a slight variation on Colonel Fixit’s Command Group list.

An ork rok hurtling in for a landing accounts for the over exposure in this picture.

Early Game: The orks had more than their share of luck in the beginning stages, which sort of set the tone for the evening. They charged ahead and despite a hail of battle cannon shells, laser fire, and volleys of grenades all of the ork vehicles were still rolling.  No one was more surprised by this than the greenskins.

Guard tanks exchanged fire with ork artillery, causing light casualties among the zzap guns.  The humans maneuvered, stacking their armor and mechanized infantry on their right flank to meet both advancing squads of trukk boyz.

Things look bad for the Vindicare Assassin but he’s all right … for now.

Mid-Game: The imperial right flank crumbled with surprisingly light ork casualties.  By the time the greenskin troopers were a spent force, they had broken through and wrecked the command chimera, Den Mother.

A valkyrie gunship reinforced the battle and along with the assassin tried to stop the nobz battlewagon rolling down the center of the field.  The half track shrugged off multiple lascannon hits, but a turbopenetrator round finally blew off a wheel and temporarily stopped the wagon.

Meanwhile a strike squad of ork jump infantry rocketed into the fray, surrounding the assassin. The assault sergeant popped a red flare and called in an air strike.  Captain Daniel, the Steel Legion company commander, ordered a nearby squad of veterans to focus fire on the stormboyz and eliminated this distraction, though the storm nob took cover and guided in the aircraft for as long as he could. The assassin, laying on his back behind some 50 gallon drums, managed to score a perfect if unlikely shot right into the MIG 15’s engine as it flew over him. Trailing oil and black smoke, the pilot returned to base his strike mission (as far as he was concerned) completed.

Looks cool but the real reason is I forgot to pack my flight stand. 😦

End Game: Despite the heroics of the vindicare assassin, a late gravchute insertion attempt by the storm troopers, and the coolness under fire of Captain Daniel, there was no stopping the orks this time.  The ork big guns fell silent.  Artillery goblins watched through periscopes and field glasses, chattering excitedly back and forth on their radios, as a greenskin ring of infantry closed around the remaining imperial platoon.  In the end the assassin spent his seventh life and died to a stray nob shoota bullet as he bravely held his position awaiting an extraction order, which never came.  Someone at the Office of Assassins will want answers to some hard questions!

We ended the game with the orks in possession of five of the six objectives and both Steel Legion heavy support tanks were burning hulks.  Hopefully the rest of the Third War for Armageddon doesn’t go as badly for the Imperium as it did here today.  Otherwise Commissar Yarrick is not going to be pleased!